She is not only multi-talented but also multi-tasker.
A woman is much more powerful than she thinks. If a woman decides, she can do anything. She heals with her warmth and love. She is both soft & strong at heart and supple & tough in body. Are we upbringing the girls in a way that they feel strong and embrace the attitude of overcoming all the challenges that come her way?
Let’s reflect on these number of taboos that are still hinged on girls. • Pink is associated with girls and blue with boys. • Girls play with dolls and boys with basketballs. • Girls are unique and special but they need to be back home before it turns dark for their safety. • Determination and confidence are the key to success but the stigma of common dialogues like “You are a girl and have to get married and follow the culture of the family” actually builds a distrust in her own self, shattering away her confidence.
The usage of such sentences and phrases sets the mindset of a girl child in boundaries. Her rational thinking is obscured by such prejudices. It thus takes a lot of courage and struggle to change this mindset, within herself and in others.
A woman is undoubtedly respected and cared by everyone in today’s world. However, one has to be (including woman) mindful of the words spoken to her from childhood to make her life much simpler and easier. Imbibing the concept that girl’s and boy’s habits, toys, interests, games, physique are the same boosts motivation in her to be open to all the avenues she wishes to explore. At any age or field, a woman can do wonders, but she will be happier if she is supported by her near and dear ones. For that, we all have to ask ourselves this question- ” Are we that support system of another woman”?
With gratitude from another woman.
Jasmine is a learner, Performer, Volunteer and a Passionate writer. She loves to sing and is spiritual at heart.
“The power of God is with you at all times through the activities of mind, senses, breathing and emotions; and is constantly doing all the work using you as a mere instrument.” -Bhagavad Gita
Today just randomly, I penned down my thoughts on the current scenario, faced by billions of people around the world, reminding us that God is Almighty and the power of Nature is beyond our reach. When there is His will, everything comes to a halt; be it continents, countries, time zones, zip codes or even our fast paced life.
Unknowingly, we all were in social distancing even before this pandemic. Weren’t we all more aware about the likes on our social media accounts rather than the likes by the people around? We used to bother more about Netflix streaming than what is going on in the life of the family members, who care for us and just want our time. Don’t we prefer to stare in our mobiles and become almost blind, instead of admiring the beauty of nature that envelope us and soothe our eyes. That is the real social distancing.
The social distancing now followed due to pandemic has a stark irony because of the word “distancing”. It has brought us closer than ever before. We now value and cherish every moment we have, the people around us – our families, friends and the people in our society. We are there to help each other and the one who is in need. We are donating whatever little we have with open hands and open hearts. We treasure one and all who are helpful to us in any way be it be our doctors, paramedics, policemen, delivery boys, domestic help and the list goes on and on. We clap to encourage others and cry at the losses of unknown.
We as human species have become more compassionate. We came out of our cocoon and became butterfly, which may be was entrapped in the cage for a while but is now spreading wings and showering happiness with her colours and free spirit. This situation of adversity is difficult and testing, but it has taught us invaluable lessons of gratitude. We all have become more empathetic, humanitarian and benevolent, leaving behind the rags of indifference. Our cumulative efforts and prayers is the backbone to help fight with this perilous time.
Founder & Director | Master Image Consultant at Surbhi Sikarwar Image Consulting Pvt. Ltd.
Wish all here a very good evening Allow me to buy you a ticket to the roller coaster ride of my life.
Life’s ride, like a roaster coaster one never promises to be full of turns and transitions…and there lies the thrill!
My ride began smoothly…I had a normal childhood,went to a good school,had friends….so far so good.
In school i discovered love- for sports! :).That was the one thing I really enjoyed doing.
College was smooth too…
Got my diploma in Fashion designing
and I was beginning to enjoy my ride…and then came the first turn! I got married. I plunged into responsibilities….as a wife..as a mother! Sometimes bumpy,sometimes high,I kept riding trying hard sometimes not to fall off my seat!
But somewhere deep inside was a flutter. I realized I was just being bounced about by Life’s own sweet will. I needed to take control! It was my ride after all!
Now to balance dreams with duty is a humongous task…u have to be careful not to fall off!But I needed to live and not just exist!
I decided not to just ride through life, but to make my ride a memorable one…so that at the end of my ride I could throw up my arms in the air and cry ” yippie!
I joined Millennium Mams…where I learned it isn’t that difficult to change gears in life. Next I had a rendezvous with my old flame….sports! I grabbed the opportunity to try my hand at some golf…and I very proud of myself for that.
The great philanthropist J.R.D .Tata always said we should give back to society what we take from it….and this led me to join the NGO Ye Mera India. Life is a stage said Shakespeare and we are mere actors…I acted my part next…only this time I knew my lines well. Virgin Merry by Chaity Ghoshal increased my self esteem immensely.
And now…I am here…at CAFE…Career After Family group, to rediscover myself further…to carve a place for myself now that I’ve carved the lives of my family. I am here…I have arrived…but I assure u I have no planning of stopping.
And …standing here…looking back….I want to say to that little girl back in school who loved sports…..”Trust ur journey… the best is yet to be”.
Keeping this goal in mind we have assembled in a group of members known as “CAFE members” represented as Career after Family. Co-founder of this Mrs. Kavita Agarwal has reached out a large number of women to establish it. Her gregarious nature and persistency in her work has brought lot of success to this café. Many new members have been introduced in the group from various fields of life like education, business, women empowerment, health etc.
The bonding in this group is just like a family to all of us and obviously a blessing in disguise in this pandemic. With every passing day our strength of the group is increasing and now it has reached to the count of 400 from all over India and even overseas. We have been encouraged by our motivational and inspirational mentors. The interactive periodical sessions inspires us and keeps us determined. We have been motivated to achieve our goals irrespective of our age and any hurdles coming our way.
Mentors have been giving out their valuable time and support to pave the way to attain new heights in our life. We have been sharing experiences from major fields like health and care, women empowerment, zero oil cooking, skin and hair care, gardening, english vinglish, stock market, GST, face yoga ,food photography and many more new creative fields of life. there are many young mentors who also plays an important role in our journey to teach us new concepts of creativity ,art and craft like mandala art, doodling and pencil shading .
Life is full of surprises and uncertainties. We have learnt here to keep all our myths at par and move ahead . It is said that its ardours to take the first step, but to attain that success, first step will have to be taken to make our valuable life filled with meaningful deeds.
Being a part of this is always a fun, as lots of new activities have been put up like we had “chai pe gupshup” a concept by Bhavika Tabu . In this we got chance to introduce ourselves to other members and also came to know about them this was followed by interesting quizes and a newly made up creative game of bingo. An interesting and really helpful for new age home makers an e cook book have also been launched in which recipes for all seven days of week and all meals from breakfast to dinner and main course to deserts have been incorporated, which not only tastes good but are healthy and have nutritional values. All the recipes in this book are from our member chefs who not only excels in their business fields but are also a very smart cook. The book has been given a perfect shape by Kirti Kedia.
On our multitalented member Suchi Agarwal has come up with a very unique idea of publishing daily a “spotlight page” of each members profile showcasing their talents and hobbies. This enhance the enthusiasm of every members and add confidence in them .a book club also been launched for the members to continue their hobby of reading.
To sum up this café is now an integral part of our lives and consists of energetic and creative members. This café is now more than a year old but the value it adds to our lives is commendable. It has helped us to think out of the box and achieve what we thought once unattainable.
I would nod with an emphatic yes to that question. It is presented as a winwin situation though… so let’s see what a girl wins in the equation.
In India, girls tend to lose more than they gain by being married. Right when the ceremonies begin, it is an unspoken truth that no matter what the boy’s side does and asks for, the girl’s side has to comply. The start of the relationship happens at an unequal footing (na beta, aye loko chokra wara che) means woh log ladke waale hai)
Once the newlywed girl reaches her in-laws home, the only words that she can use are “Haan ji” (which would loosely translate to “as you say’ in this situation), utter anything else and she can be the talk of the town for being such a (badtameez ,maa bape ne kuch nahi sikhaya bade se kaisse baat karte) and so on…. (Manner less & arrogant). She should know that girls, especially when they become bahus, don’t have a right to have an opinion, much less express it!!
So there goes your basic freedom of speech.
The daughter in law will be told what she can wear even colours will be decided for her. She has to wear bindi, bangles and what not.
She cannot wear jeans, and can’t even think of skirts. Up until now, she has been dressing up in crap and by being married, she has got an army of designers, Lucky her! That includes her MIL, FIL, SIL and basically everyone with an in-law suffix. They all know what will work. And she has to comply, otherwise, you got it right, she is arrogant.
And there goes the basic freedom of dressing up.
Though she is the one who is new in a family, the onus of keeping everyone happy rests on her and she needs to remember in laws are super easy to offend. Wake up when you want to, someone gets offended. Talk to your mom on the phone, someone gets offended. Don’t cook and offend the whole family!!
Sky can fall if she expresses the urge to go for a trip for few days either with friends or solo, forget in laws her own parents will bombard with questions. Along with that they will advise also why to go out without hubby, what’s the need etc etc etc .If she needs to go out with friends for movie /lunch or dinner, permission needs be sought from in laws, even to meet parents. And in laws are very nice if they say yes, plus she is considered very lucky.
Hence goes a basic freedom to living your life.
Where is the guy? Did he change his wake up time just because he got married? Did he change the way he dresses? Did he change his social behaviour? Did he forgo seeing his parents on a certain festival because he has to be with the girl’s parents?
A girl is raised with one single goal and that is to get married and stay married. Learn to cook, not because it’s a good skill to have to be able to feed yourself but to get married. The ultimate goal of a girl’s life is expected to be to please others and aspire for their approval. All in all its lose lose situation for girls. If they chose to not to get married (as if they can!) the society always looks at them in demeaning ways. If she does get married
(as if there is a choice) society has all the tools to rob her of basic freedoms. And lo and behold, if she dares to speak up and gets out of a bad marriage and gets a divorce, she is looked down upon as the one who was on the wrong side. She should have adjusted, she should have just used her inner strength to over look the all the problems and be in that relationship for the sake of others.
People say marriage isn’t between two individuals but between two families, I would tweak this statement with one word and say that
“A wedding is between the families but marriage is between two individuals”
Wedding is a ceremony where all can have fun but a marriage is a relationship, a life that a man and a woman lead afterwards. It takes a lot of effort to make any marriage work but this work needs to take place between the husband and wife. Like any relationship, a marriage needs two individuals who look at each other as companions, I love how this quotes puts things in perspective:
“Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one”
If anyone, girl or boy, is expected to just lose their own self to make a marriage work, it’s totally not worth it. How can a person be not themselves and be expected to be happy and furthermore raise happy kids?
If getting married wasn’t such a big deal, girls would have a better chance at life. Female infanticide wouldn’t be there because no parent would be worried about the burden of dowry, life would not be a gamble for their daughters, and their daughter’s happiness would not depend on some other family. If getting married wasn’t the ultimate goal for girls, parents would not see money spent on their education as waste, because who knows if her future family would allow her to work, also they wouldn’t be worried about saving every penny for her dowry. They will be able to use that same money for better things like their own retirement, her education. Parents would have the freedom of raising their girls with a normal childhood, with the goal of shaping up a strong individual and not a “perfect daughter in law” or “some one’s wife” Domestic violence would be tackled much easily if the girl knows that in order to appear normal she doesn’t need to stay married. Undue advantage is taken just because of this known fact that she can’t raise a voice because society expects her to stay married and appear happy.
Institution is a noun and as someone rightly said:
Marriage is a verb. It isn’t something you get, it’s something you do. It’s the way you live your life everyday with yourpartner.
But if you insist Marriage to be an institution then, I would like to say, as with any other institution, admission should be optional and not required. Everyone should get married if they want and not because they are expected to.
PS: It’s an old write up. Certain things have changed with time, but yet hell lot needs to be changed (the mindset) especially.
“There is no age limit to learn, everyday is a new learning.” So true.
I remember the day I went to ‘Karnani Estate ‘ to join a session of ‘Career After Family’, I was so shy and scared from inside to step out of home, but that first session changed everything. I started enjoying every session. Kavita Agarwal, the founder of the café is so down to earth, she started teaching us to come out from our comfort zones and to accomplish our desires and passion, to start enjoying our hobbies.
I started enjoying and learning every session, every mentor filled us with positivity and shared their experiences of life and success. Lockdown came as a boon to the members as we were learning everyday on ‘Zoom’ without getting out of home. When my other friends were feeling depressed due to lockdown, I and my other fellow members were enjoying it.
I want to say so much about “Career After Family” and ‘Kavita Agarwal’ but I have no words to express my gratitude towards them. Thank You ‘Café’ and ‘Kavita’.
My journey with CAFE started during the lockdown when my friend Urvi Shah introduced me to Kavita Agarwal the main pillar and founder of CAFE. A multitasker and a lady with a golden heart. I found love, friendship, discipline and guidance all in one person that is Kavita. Those days were difficult and monotonous but Kavita and the awesome CAFE sessions in the afternoons made this lockdown period very exciting and enjoyable. We used to look forward to the fun-filled afternoons with talented and motivating mentors. We had variety of sessions with new concepts like Faceyoga by Ruchika, healing sessions from Preetiji and Diptiji, motivational sessions from Shashi ji, Sarojji, Shalini Singh and many more. We had awesome gardening sessions by Shital Bavishi and yoga sessions from Puja Cariappa and Kaushik sir (real yoga). We had sessions on healthcare by Dr. Meenu and Rosy Sethia. Rinku saraogi trained us for the zero oil sessions and Suchi helped us with the technical sessions on powerpoint presentation s. And the most important of all Kavita our friend.,our mentor and our guide, took our sessions on Canva which I think no one could do it better. Thanks to Bhavika and Kavita for the wonderful chai pe gup shup sessions where we all interacted with each other and had a lovely time. What I truely learnt from CAFE is that there is no age bar to start a new journey to fulfill our dreams, dreams that were left behind and lost under piles of responsibilities. Kavita motivated us to pull up our socks and set our goals to achieve what was left behind and stand up for ourselves. She empowered us, boosted our confidence and guided us to focus on our goals. CAFE became like a family in no time with everyone helping each other to rise up . All my best wishes to Kavita and the whole CAFE group. May each one of us shine and attain our desired goals.
Rise by rising others….such a beautiful thought ….is introduced by Kavita Agarwal of our own CAFE. It is ‘career after family’ but now extended to ‘career with another added family“. Nature is never biased in empowering any particular gender. It is very well proven by our legendary gueens , daughters in past history. But somewhere we form a gap between our capability n goals. Eventually this gap becomes our comfort zone from where we are scared to come out. Kavita at CAFE has bridged this gap through various tools. she started with her own session of brain storming to what exactly we are looking for from life. she made us dig into our mind to find out actual meaning of PURPOSE . What a wonderful answer we came out with. Then we are equipped with tools to convert our “dreams to reality“. The journey thus started with one after another sessions by professional speakers which not only motivated us but made that we reach our goal. from referring good books to balance between attitude n bragging, personal branding,….mentors introduced to all possible arena.
It feels like we are on discovery channel discovering our own hidden potential. It was amazing….amazing this word reminds of FYOGA. I never new what it means till Ruchika our own cafe member introduced to face yoga. Saying WOW at our own face in mirror every morning is such a wow act. N u know Preetiji told us pressure is good. In fact it’s useful. How? When u apply it on right point through accupressure. Richa with bumble bee natural products. Meenuji with her health tips. Shashi ji with energetic motivation.Going digital with canva, PowerPoint, learning . N then travelling to tarot card science to culinary skills through ebook to beejum by Shital for gardening. Along with sawing seeds for microgreens lessons, got a nice life message that nature keeps seeds in the dark for some time so that seed has fights with soil for sunlight n thus growth happens. We too have started growing. Absolutely no corners left. Ideas are filled up in each n every corners kavita’s mind. We will be waiting for her next move. Kavita, Jodi tui dakbi, amar sobay Chole aashbo. Aar abar ekla cholbo na. Kavita …n all fellow members, love u, wish u all with abundance of joy n peace. I m Purvi Jasani born n brought up at Kolkata now staying at Bangalore, I m a housewife with lots of dreams to make a mark n desire to leave a legacy of kindness .
Thankful to be introduced to CAFE since last 4 months by my sister Urvi. Growing with every session……
Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful, And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you! — Misty Copeland
The famous quote suits appropriately to CAFE and its members.
CAFE has become the talk of the town nowadays. I remember when I have joined this group, around a year ago and we used to meet at Karnani Estate. I met Kavita Agrawal for the first time and found her very friendly, warm, and kind-hearted person. Her dedication towards the work and her passion to serve the members of this group in all the best possible ways makes her different from others. CAFE is a platform where everyone has the opportunity to showcase their talent as well as learning new things almost every day. Members are getting a privileged platform to come across like-minded individuals and gaining more confidence while learning and growing.
I am fortunate to be a part of this group and it’s a matter of pride to be a mentor for the same. I have conducted a virtual session on organic composting and gardening for the first time, though I have taken it practically many times. The punctuality and sincerity of the members, the interest was shown in every new subject, friendly behavior makes it different from others.
The pandemic situation is a boon for us as we have come across dignified personalities from various fields and got to know the secret behind their successful journey. Under Kavita’s dashing leadership, management skills, and inspiring ideas, the members are getting reluctant benefits. No one can teach CANVA better than herself. Wishes for an extremely bright future to the whole group and Kavita Agrawal, may we all rise together for a fantastic future!