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#saynotobodyshaming – result of Internalized Misogyny? by Nandini

Body shaming has affected humans all over the world for decades now, and its growing day by day. With social media factoring in towards such toxicity, it’s what our loved ones say, that matters most. While some people face degrading comments and messages from strangers online, some people have faced this issue with their family members and friends.

Most of the time, it’s the female population who have experienced body shaming. But this isn’t that shocking, is it? Although, what is shocking is the fact that most girls are body shamed by other girls!

Women say things like – “I’m not like other girls” and “She doesn’t look beautiful” or “What is she wearing that doesn’t suit her body type.” But what they don’t get is that every girl is amazing, in her own way. Maybe, once in a while, you may point out to one person and say you’re not like them. But there is no point differentiating between us girls, especially as we have bigger issues on hand right now, with the other gender.

Such incidents, where women project sexist behavior and attitude towards other women/girls, is called Internalized misogyny.

Society plays a vital role in this as well. Who do you think, according to the society, is the ‘other girl’? Roshini Jacintha from Bangalore thinks that the other girl , according to society is, the girl who has too many male friends, who don’t dress up according to what they (the society) have in their head, or how they (the society) expect us too, girls who want to do every normal thing a boy would want to do. Basically, the moment you try to act equally, you become the other girl.

While we’re on the subject of society and Roshini, we should also talk about growing out of the society’s mindset of women. Some people, as they grow older and become more mature, eventually grow out of it. But for some people this isn’t the case. Let’s see what Samiksha has to say about this.

Q. When and how did you grow out of society’s mindset of women?

Ans. Honestly, I don’t know If I’m completely out if it because patriarchy is so imbedded in our mindset that every day, I learn something new about hoe we have compromised so it’s easier for men. It was a learning process for me because I was willing, and I am still willing to change. I remember how I had slut shamed a senior in school when I was 13 and now that I think about it, I feel ashamed of my mindset and wish I could change it. But the thing is, it started with small steps, there were always statements like “women shouldn’t wear revealing clothing” or “they should wear a bra”, but WHY? The change started when I started questioning the society, like my parents, grandparents, and they never had a logical answer. That’s how I realised that I need to change in order to let the society change as well.

Body shaming is also one of the toxic traits Samiksha had to grow up with. For those, who are new to the concept, Body shaming is the act of deriding or mocking a person’s physical appearance.

The society’s view of women on how they should be ‘thin and beautiful’ is something we need to change. Fat shaming is not only a problem in our country, but also all around the world. Each body is different, and beautiful in its own way. Fat shaming leads to stress, depression and eventually, in some cases, suicide.[1]

What hurts more is to see that its done more by girls to other girls. Degrading and demeaning other women on a regular basis, passing mean comments, calling them out, and so on, is just a part of what a woman has to suffer through each and every day.

Social media has escalated the situation instead of helping it’s audience. Models, actresses, influencers posting content on how women need to always look perfect and stylish and thin. Although, a lot of development has happened here. After a lot of protests, emails, stories, articles; celebrities have started to post content from their daily lives and their regular looks. But the community brought them down too, by unkind comments, death threats, rape threats, hence bringing down morale.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLMuRMKl5Qb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

This is just one example, where a very plain, regular picture was posted, but the community had to bring it down.

The hatred, dirty looks, threats have not only affected girls, but older women too. Some get terminated on the basis of their looks, while other’s don’t get enough acknowledgment just because the company wants to maintain an image. What they don’t get is that your qualities put you apart, not looks or beauty.

But as we confer about the modern era’s role in this, we should also address, the rising problems of the LQBTQ+ community. For instance, when a trans person decides to go through surgery, and become male/female, they are still regarded as nothing. They’re also humans, and if they choose to become girls, we should be proud that we have created such a profile where some people choose to be like us, and that more and more people are contributing towards it. They are part of our team, and we should have each other’s back rather than criticizing them.

It’s a pity that the younger generations will have to grow up in such a toxic environment, where people have started using simple adjectives like fat and thin in a negative voice. It’s our duty to teach them how to embrace their scars. Everyone needs to understand that belittling someone is not good, instead we should appreciate one another and live happily.

What kind of a world do you want to live in? One, where people judge you on the basis of your weight, color, sex, job, caste, religion, gender, and the like OR one, where you are accepted for just being yourself and nothing more or less.

___________________________________________________________

Nandini Agarwal

Nandini is an aspiring writer and blogs about books and movies on her insta handle @_book.bytes_


[1]Extreme obesity is associated with suicidal behavior and suicide attempts in adults by Birgit Wagner, Grit Klinitzke, Elmar Brähler, Anette Kersting. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23576272/)

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YCAFE Champs

Autobiography of a Photograph- Shaurya Almal

I am 1 year old Shaurya sitting on the 11-year Shaurya’s desk watching him grow in front of me. I see my older self-growing up with lots of strength, love and hard work. I see him play, dance, learn, talk and even talk in sleep. I really don’t like sitting there but I have to do it for the older me. Come I will share an incident of my life. Once the older me and his friend Varij were playing catch, by mistake Varij threw the ball at me. When the ball hit me, I was petrified. The older me also got sacred and took me to mama and papa. Mama replaced my frame, and I was as new as a day. He cared for me so much. One day he watched a movie of Pokémon. He got so obsessed with them. The infatuation was so massive that he made a cut out of Bulbasaur, a Pokémon and sticked it on me. He was very obsessed with Pokémon until he saw a Harry Potter movie. And oh boy! this was his most lasting delusion. He wrote two spells at top and bottom of my frame i.e., Expecto Patronum and Expelliarmus. Now I have to always rest on a Harry Potter book.  One day he drew a creeper, a monster from his favorite game Minecraft. This was his new rage. I didn’t like the drawing but couldn’t complain as I immobilized by him. Oh! Look how forgetful I am, just like the 11-year-old Shaurya. I forgot to tell you that I am his photograph.

Shaurya Almal

Shaurya is a creative boy and likes to cook amazing dishes and participate in all activities. A good orator too!!

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Autobiography of a Rain drop- Aarav Agarwal

It was a hot summer day. It was scorching heat and lands were dry.

When the water from the River Yamuna evaporated and I became water vapor ,my life’s journey started. After evaporation, a process called condensation took place in the clouds that were formed 1 and a half days ago. I again returned to my real form (liquid form) from water vapor.

I was enjoying myself up in the sky with my friends floating in the clouds. Suddenly one day the sky became dark, thunderstorms started. I was scared , I was about to fall. Then suddenly the cloud bursted and I was speeding down towards a big house with my hundreds of friend raindrops. It was afternoon and I was just lying down on the tiles of the veranda. After some hours when it stopped raining, two young men came and together wiped us all out. Then I went into a smelly gutter. After some time, I was again in my home, yes , River Yamuna. I was so glad I reached my home back; it was dark and suffocating there in the drains. But I was also sad at the same time seeing tonnes of untreated water from homes and factories being poured into my mother. I felt helpless but also saw how my mother absorbed us all and purified us. And this cycle kept repeating 1-2 times till once when I was speeding down with my friends, a poor beggar drank me. That was my last day but the most fulfilling day. I could finally satisfy someone’s thirst.

In my short life I saw many happy and sad faces, some would dance when I use to fall from the sky, some use to crib but I loved my journey.

Aarav Agarwal

Aarav a student of grade V in LMB is a inquisitive boy and likes to tap google for every query!

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YCAFE Champs

Autobiography of a Journal- Priyall Parekh

I’m someone who knows every dark and embarrassing secret of the little girl that trusts me. I know she slipped on a banana peel and fell on a heap of mud; I know she hates her cousin sister and I also know she would love to have a golden retriever named ‘Tom”. She may not tell her friends how upset she is, but to me? she will pour her heart out and keep scribbling everything that comes to her mind. Sometimes, I’m just a place where she can dump random thoughts, and sometimes, she treats me like I’m the only one who listens to her. I’m her journal, similar to the million other journals owned by children around the world. I’m the loyal kind, one who refuses to judge her decisions and crazy antics. I usually keep my mouth shut, even though I believe she should stand up to the bullies who keep harassing her in school.

It all started when my appearance was nothing but a plain pink cover. The little girl, Priyall, saw me and begged her mother to buy me. Her joy knew no bounds when she finally convinced her mother, and she took me home, and started decorating me with glitter and frills. Quoting her seven-year-old self, ‘Everything is better with glitter’. I’m a pretty fat journal, and she was not one to write frequently as she started growing up. There was even a sad period of time when she completely forgot about me for seven months. Nonetheless, she still adores me, and I’m incredibly grateful to have been something who knows her happiest memories.

Priyall Parekh

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Autobiography of a Roller Coaster – Pragya Gupta

I’m a rollercoaster and I live in NiccoPark, Kolkata. My name is Cyclone. I’m 750m in length and 55ft tall. I was born in 2003. I’m an adult now. My grandpa, Leap-the-Dips lives in Lakemont Park, Atloona. He’s too old. We are a huge family throughout the world. We are generally found in the amusement parks.

I’m one of the funniest ride and sometimes quite dangerous too. I’ve elevated railroad tracks with steep slopes and inversions. Two or more cars hooked together called train on which people sit. I move very fast up and down, side to side, forwards and upside down. I feel extremely satisfied when people, especially children pick a ride upon me and enjoy to the fullest.

Well, let me say you an incident of my life which made me feel devastated. One day a 6yrs child took a ride upon me with its parents. I too was very young almost of his age. I got excited as among all the rides he chose me. But after he got down, he started crying, felt nauseous and became sick. His parents started blaming me. I was too young to bear this pain. That was the first time ever I questioned my existence.

Now this type of incidents I face often. I feel bad but also, it’s fun to see people how people conquer their fear and choose to ride upon me. I feel like I’m the most adventurous ride.

Pragya Gupta

Pragya is a student of grade VI and likes to participate in all activities of YCAFE.

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Autobiography of iPhone X – Yaahvi Kamalia

Hey, my name’s iPhone X ! I became a part of Yaahvi’s life when she turned 13. Boy, was she excited! She wouldn’t even remove the plastic film on my screen.

So now let me tell you all something about myself. I was designed by Chief Jonathan Ive. I have a brother named Siri. He can perform all sorts of tasks, right from opening the App Store to calling James to entertaining Yaahvi. I have a sweet marble base and my screen is  smooth like butter. Triple tap and you’ll reach the screenshot option. Isn’t that fun? I can store up to a million pictures and that’s the reason Yaahvi chose me cuz she can’t resist clicking selfies for Instagram! This reminds me that I have a fabulous camera quality too. She tried all my camera features for her artworks in just a span of 5 minutes! Well, she was a born photographer! I also have an inbuilt app for editing videos called the iMovie app. All her reels have been edited by this app. And as my name suggests, Yaahvi doesn’t let anyone touch me. She’s a little too overprotective. Maybe it’s because I’m exorbitantly priced and she knows her dad won’t buy her another one. I have a feature called the “find phone” app. It helps to navigate your phone. She has a habit of losing her stuff and this app is specially designed for her. Yaahvi is super addicted to music and my best friend iMusic designed a playlist named ‘vibez’ specially for her. Isn’t that cute?  I guess I’ve told you a lot about myself and now it’s time to tell you something about my owner AKA Yaahvi. She’s just another teenager. She’s a bubbly person and likes to fidget with me. She’s an aspiring artist and the future queen of photography. But jokes apart, she’s my new bff and she handles me with love! I’m just hoping she doesn’t stick the “fragile object: handle with care” sticker on me!!

Yaahvi

Yaahvi is an art enthusiast and loves to create masterpieces inspired from her everyday life experiences! A student of grade VII at LMG, Kolkata

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YCAFE Opinions Club

Young minds are buzzing with opinions and thoughts- we are creating a platform for them to let it out for the benefit of one and all!

A proper Direction to mind at this young age is the best thing which can happen- and its happening at YCAFE, where we give assist youth to utilise their talent and energy for the benefit of everyone!

Launched Opinion Club for everything mindful- debates, speeches, elocution, opinions, extempore and lot more!!

Club Captain- Divesh Goyal
Club Vice Captain- Manasvi Bhansali
Club Secretary- Garima Saboo

Club Mentor – Ritu Dhanuka

YCAFE is a learning community for the youth aged between 12-17: Application form link: https://lnkd.in/gV3-PaH

#youthleaders#changemakers#opinionclub#debateclub

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YCAFE Champs

C for Creativity!! YCafe Champ Yaahvi Kamalia

The world may lead you to one way and your heart may lead you towards another. Ensure that you’re always in the path your heart agrees with !- Anonymous

Mandala Lettering by Yaahvi

‘C’ for Creativity !
I am Yaahvi Kamalia. I study in La Martiniere For Girls. I’m 11 years old. I have been an art enthusiast ever since I was a child. The world of crayons, drawing books, brushes, sketch pens et all intrigued me. Whenever I would visit a stationery store I would feel like a kid in a candy land. I have been learning various mediums of art from the past 7 years.

This lockdown has been a gamechanger for me. Since I did not have much to do during this phase I enrolled myself in online art classes and gradually got hooked on to it. My mom had also been doing some online courses. That’s when I stumbled upon CAFÉ’s art sessions. I did my first ‘mandala art’ session on the Cafe platform and I was amazed to see a young girl like me teaching this art form. My family has been very supportive and encouraging of my artwork and mom asked Kavita aunty if I could take up a similar session for Café members. After looking at my art skills, Kavita aunty agreed instantly and gave me immense encouragement.


Online sessions and gatherings are increasingly becoming a part of our new normal lives. I conducted two sessions on ‘doodling’. All the aunties of various age groups enrolled for my class and showed immense enthusiasm. They sat diligently throughout the class and completed the work assigned to them with a lot of patience.

These session with the Café participants has given me unimaginable joy and unattainable peace. I want to extend my gratitude to Kavita aunty and each and every participant for encouraging my artwork and giving wings to my imagination. Till now I only though that drawing is fun, but after these sessions I have realized that teaching art is therapeutic too !

Yaahvi Kamalia
Secretary ( Art club)

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YCAFE Champs

YCAFE Champ- Jagriti Barmecha

Jagriti is a art lover and she made every YCAFE member fall in love with the water color art. Simple strokes created beautiful pieces. At YCAFE champ we give opportunity to members to showcase their talent and also gain confidence in the process.